The Slow Path
by Daenar
Summary: Yet another take on how Rose's life with Ten-point-Five could start off in the parallel universe. This is just a single scene that might or might not have happened after Ten and Donna left Pete's World for good.


The Slow Path

Author: Daenar

Genre: Romance (Rose/10.5)

Rating: Somewhere between T and M

Spoilers: Everything up to and including the beach scene in Journey's End, after the TARDIS has just disappeared from the parallel universe known as Pete's World.

Summary: The walls of the universes are closed again, Ten and Donna have left Bad Wolf Bay. Rose, 10.5, and Jackie have taken hotel rooms for the night, wanting to return to England the following day. Rose and 10.5 try to come to terms with the situation.

Disclaimer: Doctor Who is property of the BBC and of Russell T. Davies and colleagues. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's note: I discovered this series only recently, so I cannot guarantee I did not overlook any details when it comes to plot consistency or the like. Also, I am not a native English speaker, and this has not been proof-read by anyone other than myself. Sorry for any mistakes. I know this kind of piece has probably been done lots of times, but I just wanted to type down this scene that has been in my head ever since I watched Journey's End. Yes, this is romantic, so if you do not like romance, better not read on. And last but not least: I had to think of a given name for the Doctor that was just slightly unusual, and I am sure there would be better choices than mine – but it kind of popped up in my head right away and I could not chase it, even though I tried to come up with something else. So in the end, I just went along with it... (At least it does sound nicer than Rassilon!)

~~***~~

Early morning, the day after the Earth returned home

Rose's room in a small hotel somewhere near Dårlig Ulv Stranden, Norway, Pete's World

She had heard him pacing until long after midnight. The longer the monotonous, persistent noise had lasted, the more had she been tempted to go to him, but her conscience had not let her. She had crossed the Void to find another man, had ripped holes in the walls that separated their universes to return to the man who had shown her more wonders than she could ever have imagined. The man who had made saving creation the purpose of her life that had seemed so wholly insignificant before. The man who, to her, would always have been the only one to rightfully call himself The Doctor, had things been different.

And yet, her heart went out to the man in the adjacent room who had been restless for the better part of the night, no doubt torn between hopes and fears, overwhelmed by this situation that no one had seen coming and that everyone was so completely unprepared for. But while everyone else could still draw back and watch from a distance, he was the centre of the events, without any possibility of retreat. He had to come to terms with what had happened in the last hours and learn to live with it. He could not run away and forget. This once, he had no means of flight. Rose Tyler was not sure what exactly she felt for him – but she shared his sorrow.

Rose was having a hard time herself categorising the recent events whose aftermath would change her life forever. The Doctor was – again – gone from her life, but had given her himself to keep for good. Rose suspected that Donna had wanted to tell her more than what she had hinted at when she revealed the secret of the new Doctor's human nature: the Doctor had not left him in her care because he was too dangerous to be left on his own. Rose knew that even when she had first met the old Doctor, he had protected the world, not destroyed it. The new Doctor did not need a policeman to keep him in check. This had just been a pretence to keep her from arguing. Sharing his counterpart's emotions, the old Doctor had known how desperate this new specimen of himself must have felt, seeing his place in the world already taken, being even lonelier than the original. And he had also known that Rose needed him for a lifetime – a lifetime together, not just alongside each other until one would have grown old and the other would once again move on. So the Doctor had set aside his own wishes and had renounced for good. He had understood that his human incarnation was the greatest gift he could ever have made her.

Rose knew where they were headed although her feelings for the man next door still needed defining. It had not merely been their identical physiognomy that had made her kiss him yesterday on the beach, nor the fact that he had dared finish the sentence that the Doctor had, again and deliberately, left unspoken. It was her deep conviction that what both, he and the Doctor, had told her was true: this man shared all their memories, had lived the Doctor's entire life until Donna's touch had separated the two. He had come to life through the very regeneration energy that had already taken the Doctor from her once and had all but done it again a few hours ago. This man had every right to the title and was right now left completely alone to accept the fact that he was stuck on the slow path, would grow old, could never ever regenerate, and would never again set foot in his TARDIS to travel the stars and marvel like a child at the wonders of the universe. The walls of the worlds had closed again, and in this, her, universe, he was the Doctor.

The Time Lord of her old world was with Donna. Even though Rose doubted that the bond linking Donna Noble and the old Doctor would ever surpass the boundaries of deepest friendship, she could at least be certain that he would not be alone, but would be travelling on with the most faithful companion imaginable under the stars.

Ever since their first goodbye at Dårlig Ulv Stranden, Rose had known the Doctor loved her although he had never said the words – but now he had seen to it himself that the situation was as it was. No need to have a bad conscience anymore about what she might be feeling for the man she would in all probability share the rest of her life with. It was time for her to move on.

The creaking of his veranda door finally made her decide for good. Last night, she had seen how much he had longed for her company, and yet, he had respected her wish when she had asked for a little distance and solitude to digest the situation herself. He had quietly withdrawn without even giving her the opportunity to thank him, just as altruistic as she knew his help always was. Now it was her turn to help him.

She put on her cardigan and stepped out onto the porch. There were no walls dividing up the veranda between the hotel rooms, so she simply walked up to the lanky figure that was leaning on the railing, letting his gaze wander across the grey vastness of the North Sea in the cool air of the early morning.

"How're you doing?" Rose hated herself for the flatness of the question.

He did not look at her. "Dunno," he said with a weary sigh. "Haven't exactly slept much."

"I know."

This made him turn his head. "Did I keep you from sleeping? I'm sorry..." Apologetic concern softened his features.

Rose could not help smiling to set him at ease. "Don't worry 'bout me. You've got enough on your mind already."

Another sarcastic sigh, eyebrows uplifted. "You could say that, yeah."

"Any clear thoughts yet?"

He gave a doubtful shrug. "Some. But no whole picture."

"Maybe I can help?" she offered. "Tell me what you've got."

"Wellllllll..." He turned to fully face her, brushed one hand through his eternally dishevelled hair and then folded his arms in front of his chest. "I know that I'm human because I've only got one heart. I know that I'm Time Lord because I've got more than 900 years of memories in here." He pointed his finger to his head. "I know that I am myself because this body doesn't feel any different, even though one heart is missing. But at the same time I know that I am not myself because the Doctor is out there, with his TARDIS – my TARDIS – and sonic screwdriver and all. It feels a bit as if I'd stolen someone else's identity although I know it's definitely my own. If my memories don't count as proof, then at least this will." He wiggled the fingers of his right hand, the only part of his body he had actually shared with the other Doctor, if never simultaneously. He grinned. "As I said – love my hand!"

Rose smiled with him at the recollection of their Christmas trip to the Sycorax ship that had cost him his hand. Yet, she was shocked to see the deep insecurity that lay underneath his joviality. He was trying to mask his feelings, but despite her 22 years, Rose had been able to read him from early on as few people probably ever had, let alone humans. The underlying expression of forlornness in his eyes tore at her heart. She stepped closer and interlaced her fingers with his as they had done so often in situations when they had needed to reassure themselves and each other of the other's presence. "See, Doctor: it is you," was all she said very low.

He lifted their joined hands and contemplated the pattern their fingers were creating as if he needed something safe to lock his gaze to. However, when he spoke, Rose thought she detected the slightest hint of reassured contentment in his voice at hearing her use the title.

"I definitely know I'm human because of the silence in my head," he said, still gazing at their hands in front of his face. Then he gently let go and put his hands to his hips, his well-known incredulous frown creeping onto his features again. "Blimey, Rose, how can you lot live like this without going insane? It's so quiet in here, it's deafening!" He put his hand to his forehead.

"What do you mean, quiet?" asked Rose, confused. "Didn't you just say you had some 900 years of memories?"

He nodded. "Yes, but they are just stored until I pull them out. But do you remember when you first asked me who I really was?"

Rose could not help the wistful smile as she acknowledged. The tall, blond, broad-shouldered hero in the black leather jacket seemed like from another life. And yet, she had seen him just as insecure as the slim, dark-haired man standing in front of her in his blue suit. "Yeah," she said. "I didn't believe a word of what you were telling me."

"No, but you kept listening." The Doctor, too, was reliving the scene. "I told you that I could feel the Earth turn, the planets move, see the present, the past, the future... the curse of a Time Lord. The omnipresent chaos in my head – it's all gone. I don't see a thing except what's in front of me. I don't hear a thing except what's around me. I don't feel a thing except what's going on with my body." He made a helpless, slightly hectic gesture. "I feel like blindfolded. Do you see what I mean?"

"It's hard to imagine but when I think back to when I looked into the time vortex, I think I have an idea. Although that's all sort of blurred." She sighed. "I still don't know what happened after I finished off the Dalek emperor."

Something like proud fondness stole into his eyes. "You were fantastic," he said. "I don't think I've ever really thanked you for what you did that day. I guess you knew you were practically killing yourself when you forced the core of the TARDIS open, right?"

Embarrassed, Rose twirled a strand of hair that had fallen out of her pony tail. "Not really, no..." she admitted. "All I knew was that it would get me to you. Further than that I didn't think."

"This is what I so love about you humans!" he exclaimed, all enthusiastic. "Sometimes I think you need to be blinded by emotions to do your greatest deeds. Brilliant!"

"By the way, Doctor," she interjected slyly, "you better start saying 'us humans'."

"Oouuwwwwww..." he groaned. "You have to rub it in, do you?"

At least she had succeeded in raising his spirits. "Uh-huh," she made with a wide grin, tongue in cheek. "So, if I was killing myself there, how come I didn't die?"

Suddenly, the Doctor seemed to find it hard to look her in the eye. Deliberately relaxed, he turned back to gaze at the sea. "I, well, as I told you back then, the time vortex was running through your brain, burning you up, so I, uh, absorbed it. Made me regenerate into this splendid form, remember? By the way, I wanted to take you to planet Barcelona that day, didn't I? Now we'll never go. Pity. I'd wanted to..."

Rose did not feel inclined to let him ramble on right now as the enormity of what he had done began to dawn on her. When he had told her about what had caused his regeneration before, absorbing the time vortex had always sounded like an accident. And yet, he had done it willingly and deliberately, to save her life, knowing it would kill him and without the certainty that he would be able to regenerate in time after such an amount of energy running through his body.

"How?" she merely asked brusquely, all former playfulness vanished form her voice.

He stopped in mid-sentence, his frown enormous. "How what?"

"How'd you do it? Absorb the time vortex, I mean. How'd you do it, Doctor? It was inside my head."

He seemed to be forcing himself to meet her eyes, swallowing visibly. "I kissed you."

She bit her lip. Part of her had not expected this. "You did, didn't you?" she said tonelessly. "I wish I could remember." Without thinking, she took another step towards him until they were within inches of each other. As her breath grazed his chin, she felt him stiffen.

He cleared his throat and said very low: "And I definitely know I'm Time Lord because right now I'm not sure how an educated human man is supposed to behave in a situation as this."

Here was the hero who had saved the universe more times than she could count, stumbling over the most basic of human social skills. Had she not pitied him so much, Rose would have found this trait of his character adorable. She reached up with one hand, cupping his face and finding it cold and trembling. "Normally, people would tell you to simply follow your heart," she said. "Shouldn't be too difficult, now that you've only got one, right?"

His answering smile was heavy with relief. He did not protest when she simply took his hand and led him back into her room, shutting the window door behind them. Then she again closed the distance. The touch of his lips on hers was tentative at first, but quickly grew firmer and more passionate as the kiss deepened. Rose took off her cardigan and t-shirt, never really breaking the connection, and helped him with his jacket. The intensity of the contact electrified her, and she could tell from his accelerated breathing that he was all but immune to these very human sensations.

Eventually, he broke the kiss for air and made her look at him, expression all serious. "Are you sure about this, Rose?"

She merely nodded and closed her eyes again. How could he even doubt her?

"I have to warn you," he went on, "last time I did this was over 300 years ago, and never yet with a human. This is a first, in several aspects."

A giggle escaped her before she could stop herself. "Still, Mum was right: one hell of an age gap. And just so you know: I've never done this with an alien."

The tension was broken and they shared a companionable laugh, never loosening their embrace.

"You have no idea how often I would just sit in the TARDIS and watch you sleep," he said quietly, "when we were still travelling together. And just how often I wanted to be with you, I mean, really be with you. I just never dared say a word. Just as you said: one hell of an age gap. Why should you feel attracted to me in such a way?"

"Don't be so daft." She shook her head at him. "Mum said I was infatuated with you from the start, and you know what? She was right. You could have had me with one word. Don't tell me you never had a notion."

He shot her one of his superior grins. "Oh, as a matter of fact, I did. Maybe I'm just too much of a gentleman."

She took up his playful tone. "Are you, Sir Doctor?"

"You've got me down, Dame Rose. But seriously," he fell earnest. "I was too afraid to find out it was mainly my time-travelling and all the adventures I took you to that made you stay. I never really trusted it could be my persona, not even after you came to save me from the Daleks. Only when you decided to leave your parents and stay in my universe when we were about to seal the rift at Canary Wharf, did I dare believe it was actually me you wanted, not my life. But by then, it wasn't meant to be..." He broke off, lost in recollections.

He was in danger of giving in to gloomy thoughts again. She had to take the lead of the conversation and whatever might follow. "Being separated from you was hard," she admitted, "and it felt as if it would never end. But now we're here, and yes, Doctor, it's you I love, not your life. And if you find that so hard to believe, just think that you're stuck on the slow path with me now, as you once put it. This is the very situation we were considering when we were orbiting that black hole on the impossible planet. Find a place, settle down, maybe do it together, remember? So this is it."

The memory made his face light up. "Yeah. Unthinkable as it seemed back then, me grounded and settled: you're right, this is it."

"So, is that proof enough of what I want?" She all but closed the distance again, leaving the decision to him.

His voice was barely a whisper. "Yeah." Again, his kiss started out very tentative but grew more confident as he felt her response. This time, what followed seemed inevitable to both.

~~***~~

The companionable silence they shared in each other's arms seemed to last forever. Words were surplus to requirements – what needed to be said had been said before. For someone as slim as the Doctor, he had amazingly strong arms, Rose marvelled. Even if she wanted to, she doubted she would be able to move in his embrace right now. But she did not care. This was what she had been dreaming of for what seemed like ages. Would she be asked to pinpoint the exact moment when she had first felt something like real, physical attraction to the Doctor, she would probably have linked it to their World-War-II adventure, trying to get the stiff alien scientist to prove he could dance. But try as she might: she could not remember exactly how long ago that had taken place, speaking in terms of her own lifespan. Time travel did that sort of thing to you.

Only when the first real sunbeams filtered through the half-closed blinds, reality seemed to slowly return into the room, and Rose gently shook the Doctor's shoulder. "Mum's going to be up soon. We'd better get ready."

He was all relaxation. "Don't you think she's been expecting to find us like this from the start?"

"Knowing Mum, yeah." Rose propped herself up on one elbow and looked at the man by her side. "We'll need to look at the really profane things now. You'll need a passport. You don't have your psychic paper anymore."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "You're right, yeah. But you know what I need first? I need a name." He grew very earnest, and his expression became frighteningly meaningful when he repeated: "A proper name."

Rose had never thought of calling him anything else than Doctor before. The thought seemed ridiculous. "Can't you use John Smith again for the passport? You did it before, Doctor."

"Braydan."

"What?"

The Doctor was still looking at her as if he were about to do something extraordinary.

"Give me my real name. Call me Braydan. Please, Rose. I want you to."

Judging from the smug grin that then spread over his face, she must have looked very dumbfounded. "You have a proper name? How come you never told me?"

"I wasn't allowed to," he explained. "There's only one situation when a Time Lord can tell someone else his given name. The Doctor back home will do it one day. He will tell an archaeologist called River Song. She contacted Donna and me to help with a mystery, but the message was supposed to arrive later in my life. When we met, I had not yet known her. So to convince me I could trust her, she told me my own name." Even now his expression was deeply puzzled. "The only explanation I might have for this would be that some day, the Doctor is going to marry her. Pity. I would have liked to find out about that."

"Where is she now?"

"Dead." He sighed wearily. "She sacrificed herself for all who were involved in that story. I was about to do the job, but she wouldn't let me. Said that if I died, we would never have what we were going to, and she wouldn't let that happen. I can't deny that she intrigued and scared me at the same time. However, I managed to save part of her as a living image in a virtual reality. Maybe, just maybe, the Doctor can get her out of there one day. He's brilliant, you know."

"Yeah, I heard so. Stop making a fuss." Rose playfully slapped him on the arm. "But I can tell you one thing: if she's anything like me when it comes to you, then she'll trust that the Doctor will get her out. What about Donna?"

His face took up a worried look. "A human-Time Lord biological metacrisis was never supposed to happen. Never ever. A Time Lord can trick his way out of the catastrophe, we have ways. Like I did with my spare hand. But although Donna's got the brain of a Time Lord now, her whole body is still human. I fear the burden will be too much at some point. I don't know what will happen, but I have to admit that I'm scared for her."

Once again, Rose felt a sting in her heart. But to her relief she noted that it was merely commiseration for a close friend who might be about to experience yet another severe loss. At least she could trust that at some point, the Doctor of her old world would actually marry. She just prayed that he would also find a way to save his wife for real, not only on a hard disk.

His wife. Marry. She frowned. "Hold on," she said, "Didn't you say that only a marriage would explain why she knew your name? What exactly did you want to tell me when you told me your name just now?"

"Three things, basically," he answered in his mock matter-of-fact way. "Firstly: that here in Pete's World, I don't need to care about Time Lord jurisdiction anymore. That was my world. So I guess I am free to tell anyone. Secondly: that I thought Tyler might actually be a nice last name to have, and thirdly: there's just that insignificant fact that I love you and want to make sure I can spend the rest of my life with you. So what do you think: Rose Tyler, would you consider marrying me?

Rose felt that her beaming face belied her mock answer but she did not care. "If it can't be helped, then in God's name, Braydan Tyler, let's do it."

She could have sworn the Doctor blinked away a little mist from his eyes, but she did not allude to it. He never commented on her decision, but only pulled her close to kiss her passionately. Then, suddenly, he sprung to his feet. "Ok, ready for breakfast in ten minutes. I need new glasses and have to contact Torchwood about my cover story and a job. You get this marriage organised. Get your Dad and brother here. I can't leave Norway without a proper passport. Allons-y!"

Now it was Rose's turn to blink and swallow. "Welcome, Doctor," she said very low. "Welcome to the one adventure you once told me you could never have: living your life day after day. Welcome to the slow path."


End file.
